Where Can I go?

In a section of the book of John, Jesus had just been teaching the crowds and it says that many deserted him because it was "a hard teaching." Jesus turned to Peter and said "are you going to leave me too?" Peter's response here is "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life."

I often feel like many of the people who were listening to Jesus' teachings. I have a hard time accepting them to be willing to follow. My first thought many times is "what are my other options?" but then Peter's words come to me as well, "where can I go..." I've got nothing else to go to, I'm desparate, so I stick with Jesus. I made a decision a few years ago while sitting in a dorm room that I was going to stick with him and follow him no matter what if he would just save me from the mess I had made of myself. I cannot go back and forth on Him, and I cannot choose what following him looks like, He has to choose for me!

His words are constantly coming back to me:
"if anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up
his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will
lose it but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will
save it." Mark 8:34,35

Why am I always trying to take back my own life and choose what is best for me? Jesus was asking the disciples the same "Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand?" My answer is: I guess not Jesus, cuz I find that I am stil chasing after bread. Help me to see, help me to understand, so I can stop talking about bread.

By turning over our desire for self preservation we must realize that we are not being irrational or irresponsible, we are simply making it someone else's(JESUS) problem. As Jesus was with the crowds he said: "I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothingl to eat. If I send them home hungry, they will collapse on the way.." He cared, he acted on their behalf even though they were "irresponsible" and traveled long distances without food to be with Him.