One Sacrifice

I was listening to a worship song last Sunday and there was a line in it that said,
"I have but one sacrifice..." and the reality of that statement hit me like a ton of
bricks. I think I have gotten in the habit of thinking that I have many sacrifices
I can give God. I can sacrifice my money to God for his use, I can sacrifice my time,
my stuff, my possessions, etc. The reality is no! All I have to sacrifice is me. If I have
given him myself then all I have is his. If i have given him myself then my money, my time,
my stuff, my possessions, my work, my well being are all his! If I am his then I do not have
the choice to give or not to give of my stuff because they are already his and I am simply
the caretaker. Paul's words that we are "slaves to Christ" echo in my head as I write this. God let me not think that I can offer myself as a living sacrifice and yet make the choice to give or withhold what I have from you. If you do my possess what I think I possess then I am not yours for me is follow you is to "deny myself, take up my cross, and follow after you." It is not possible for me to give to God what is already God's. It makes us feel good to choose whether or not to give something "we possess" to God. If we possess something then we are not God's. If God possesses us then we possess nothing because everything that we hold is God's and therefore subject to his bidding and his desires.

Romans 12:1 "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship."

I'm back

So, I thought I wouldn't use this blog anymore since we had created a new family blog at www.williamsinthewilderness.com (check it out if you haven't yet). After having that blog going for a couple of months now I'm thinking that I need to have my own place back where I can just air my own thoughts, things that don't necesarily have anything to do with going to Uganda, just thoughts. So, I'm coming back to this site to have a personal online journal. Feel free to comment on anything, argue if it's controversial, I don't really care. If you are reading this and have a blog please let me know so I can join in on your community.

Where Can I go?

In a section of the book of John, Jesus had just been teaching the crowds and it says that many deserted him because it was "a hard teaching." Jesus turned to Peter and said "are you going to leave me too?" Peter's response here is "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life."

I often feel like many of the people who were listening to Jesus' teachings. I have a hard time accepting them to be willing to follow. My first thought many times is "what are my other options?" but then Peter's words come to me as well, "where can I go..." I've got nothing else to go to, I'm desparate, so I stick with Jesus. I made a decision a few years ago while sitting in a dorm room that I was going to stick with him and follow him no matter what if he would just save me from the mess I had made of myself. I cannot go back and forth on Him, and I cannot choose what following him looks like, He has to choose for me!

His words are constantly coming back to me:
"if anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up
his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will
lose it but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will
save it." Mark 8:34,35

Why am I always trying to take back my own life and choose what is best for me? Jesus was asking the disciples the same "Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand?" My answer is: I guess not Jesus, cuz I find that I am stil chasing after bread. Help me to see, help me to understand, so I can stop talking about bread.

By turning over our desire for self preservation we must realize that we are not being irrational or irresponsible, we are simply making it someone else's(JESUS) problem. As Jesus was with the crowds he said: "I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothingl to eat. If I send them home hungry, they will collapse on the way.." He cared, he acted on their behalf even though they were "irresponsible" and traveled long distances without food to be with Him.

Safe and Warm

After months of preparation, failed attempts, prayer we now have a overnight shelter for the next 2 months of winter. Feed My Sheep's winter overnight shelter began in Mid November and we have been open for 2 weeks now. A local church, Sonlight Foursquare, offered us their building free of charge, save a little bit of money for utilities. After much prayer and concern that the homeless would be sleeping outside in the snow I got to watch as God once again provided for his children. If that were not enough blessings, North Fork Baptist Church in Paonia donated a 15 passenger van to Feed My Sheep for the winter to bus people back and forth.

Another church has offered their building for the second 2 months of winter but that is pending approval from the city. We are so thankful to serve a God who not only knows our needs but cares enough to listen to answer our prayers. I can rest a little easier knowing that no one in the roaring fork valley has to spend a winter night outside. Thank you all for your prayers!

Christmas for Karamoja

Christmas is coming to Karamoja, and you can be a part of it! We are looking for homes to host fundraiser dinners for Shalom Home. All you have to provide is the food and the friends, we do the rest! We will send you an information packet about Karamoja and the work going on there with Shalom Reconciliation Ministry. You share the information with your friends and encourage them to put Karamoja on their Christmas list. Show them how they can be involved in helping these kids by donating to Shalom Home. We desperately want to be able to finish this orphanage, but we can't do it without you! Please consider hosting a dinner on December 11th and join homes all over the world in raising money for the orphans of Karamoja! you can comment on this blog or email me at k1nneth@yahoo.com if you want to be involved.

Thanks guys. Let's keep working to make a life for these orphans who otherwise have no hope.

Uganda

2 Worlds

I have spent the first of 3 days in a meeting. Most of the time I just sit there wondering "what am I doing here?" It's a religious meeting where people listen to speakers tell them how to resurrect their church, or something of the sort. I have a little booth, which is why I'm there, to advertise and share about Feed My Sheep.

I spend most of my days with guys and girls who are homeless and I really enjoy it. These are people who are currently struggling for a host of different reasons. One of my struggles right now is that I don't have enough money and cannot find a building for a shelter this winter. I need another $25,000 to make this thing happen. When we don't have a shelter, people FREEZE TO DEATH! So .... here I am sitting in these meetings with Christians who are there to get energized and learn how to follow God better. The irony of this all is... according to my calculations the money that was spent for a 3 day seminar will easily be more than we need to house and protect the homeless from an uncertain winter. The more I read the Bible the more I feel like this isn't right. I sent out a letter to 30 churches in my area asking to use one of their buildings in the evenings to house our folks. Not a single reply. One pastor went so far as to tell me that he would be happy to let to homeless sleep there but he has stuff for the youth in the evenings. Let me re-phrase this a little. The homeless cannot sleep here, understanding they might die, because we need this to have meetings. I feel like at times I'm beginning to feel the heart of God and this makes me very sad to know what he often feels. My heart simply breaks. How can we show the world the love of Christ and simply ignore the hurting, the needy, the homeless. Is this the God of unconditional love we are proclaiming to follow? I now understand God's heart of Isaiah 58. I now understand the downfall of Sodom - Ezek. 16:48-49. We throw a little bit of money at different ministries and let someone else deal with the people. Does Isaiah 58 not scream "IF SOMEONE IS HOMELESS, TAKE THEM INTO YOUR HOMES?"

I definitely don't want to bash anyone or anything, please respond if I'm doling out unfair words here. Come on church, let's bring the kingdom of heaven here among us. Let's begin to make the things that breaks God's heart, break ours. Let's get passionate about the things he's passionate about. Let' stop being about ourselves, our churches, our denominations, and live a message of love to the whole world! Why do we hold people like Dorothy Day, Mother Theresa, Karolyn Spencer, Lottie Moon up on a pedastal? That is not where they belong, they are there because we have lost our way.